I hate night

I hate nighttime, I used to love it , had always been my favorite time. But now it's the worst. I felt good today- like I had calm with a lot of things. I felt good about decisions and about how life is at the moment. But just when I don't think it can get any worse it does. How does a human being treat people so bad and then be able to look in a mirror. I hurt for my children because its not just me he's hurting. Tomorrow is Deklans 2nd birthday and the one thing that will be missing is his father. He chose to get drunk tonight - rather then come see his children as he promised. And now I'm the one dealing with my daughters hurt . How can life change so fast? This past weekend we were a happy family now it's just a nightmare. All because one person made these choices. The sick feeling in my stomach sucks- cause its one I can't get rid of. I love my children more then life and I can't fathom ever wanting to hurt them- I don't know how anyone could.